Power of Presence

Last night I felt a bit self-conscious going to have dinner alone in this huge resort where everyone looks to be in a family or a couple.

I prayed for confidence, it wouldn’t be the first time I ate out alone and I better get used to it but this place is so huge I felt intimidated.

After a glass of wine at one of the 12 bars, yes 12 are on site I opted for the Argentinian steak house.

It had a warm cosy feel thanks to its interiors.

Not enjoying the house wine that was on offer, Mexican wine isn’t the best, I went for a Spanish Rioja, to accompany a fillet steak.

It was all excellent.

A couple sat near me, he on his phone talking at 180 an hour, constantly leaving the table to finish the deal or complete the conversation, his wife over concerned with the baby, noticeably frustrated at his leaving.

I remember thinking that thank god Francesco was so often present.

We’d go for dinner and he’d be at dinner.

We’d travel and he’d travel.

He didn’t need to be constantly engaged in something else.

He was good at being in one place at one time enjoying one thing.

He was an excellent teacher of PRESENCE, and continues to teach me that now, in his absence.

Presence is so valuable, it’s all any of us are really looking for.

To be with a man who is present, available, interested in the lost art of conversation, regardless what’s going on or what looks urgent in the rest of his world.

As I finished my steak I left the restaurant only to be bombarded by a live performance of a Michael Jackson act.

That got me laughing.

Reminded me of the night we went with my friend to watch a similar act in Puglia.

How Fran had us both laughing at the ridiculousness of this poor guy who was trying to imitate Michael in his lycra, but at least 40 lbs overweight!

Plus he couldn’t sing to save his life.

I see now the memories of Fran come back but with a bit less pain.

There’s a smile on my face as I recall him.

There’s a warmth in my heart to have had the love of a good man who did his best to be present and make us all laugh.

Whilst I wish he was here sharing this huge resort with me now, I know he is in spirit, guiding me each day.

Hope this helps whoever is reading today, appreciate what you had, the pain will soften, much love and here’s to a new chapter all the way. ❤️