Yesterday I had a call with a lovely client who recently lost her father, she was experiencing some low moods and innocently the people around her reminded her she was grieving.
My client didn’t feel that was true.
In fact she felt a stronger connection to her father now in non physical form than when he was alive.
I can validate that is possible.
What she didn’t see was how tired she was, that her low moods, tears and some unexpected angry outbursts were not to do with the loss of her father but a drop in consciousness.
Not realising this and listening to the common label of grief she was being given, she began to feel like something was wrong.
This is so innocent.
Our mood drops and we don’t see it and then we look for “what’s wrong with us”.
Oh it must be because of _________ fill in your blank.
The beauty of a mood drop is that alarm bells begin to ring quickly & loudly.
We’re designed this way to ensure damage control.
First you’ll notice irritation, annoyance, upset, stress, tension.
When we don’t catch this the alarm gets louder:
Anxiety, anger, crying, bitches & bastards (those who in a different mood are just annoying) despair & depression emerge.
I’ve seen that as my elevator of consciousness drops my experience of losing Francesco is just plain awful.
From the lower floors of consciousness I’m swamped with upset, sadness, regret.
There’s a lot of focus on the past.
People call this grief.
But what if grief is nothing more than louder alarm bells inviting us back to the present?
I love that we have this built in system alerting us via feelings as to where we are on the elevator of consciousness.
I love that in my lowest moments of loss I’m not afraid of my feelings, that there’s no extra layer of suffering because of what I know about how the mind works.
This simple understanding helps all of us stand under life’s losses and upsets with a lot more grace.
So next time you’re feeling low, like the world is an awful place, like they’re all bitches and bastards and you’ll never get over the loss you’ve experienced, please know what’s really going on is an elevator drop.
As you allow your experience rather than resist it or judge and fear it, soon enough the same Divine energy that is beating your heart right now will press the “UP” button and you’ll return to feelings of open heartedness, joy, well-being and connection with loved ones here and passed.
Hope this helps you today.
More about grief and loss on next week’s clinic