There’s something I’m seeing this week about why we humans sometimes do crazy things.
Like walk out on love.
Take hard drugs.
Have public explosions of outrage.
Things that we know aren’t the best choice but look like a good idea at the time.
As a Teacher I used to see my pupils go crazy and get into all sorts of bad habits.
I was teaching teenage boys and some would work themselves up into such a state about things that they’d stamp their feet, pull on their hair or have regular explosions with one another in the classroom.
Whilst it often led to them getting detention, suspension or a letter home, all of which they were well aware, I can look back now and see why the consequences of their actions or habits didn’t matter in that moment.
I’ve seen that we humans will do anything to gain relief from the incessant noise of our insecure mind, even if it’s something consequential or crazy at the time.
Relief for these kids from the crazy thought storms they were in , sometimes about life, sometimes about each other, came in the form of an explosion , it was all they could do to settle themselves down.
And settle down they did, right after the act, all went quiet again.
As they got older I noticed they got a bit wiser, there would be less drama and fisticuffs, less chance of them acting on their thoughts.
Wisdom would burst through and instead of engaging their usual habit of reacting, some would come to tell me about how they were feeling, looking for a way to deal more constructively with their bubbling teenage emotions.
Through this experience I began to see that as humans we’re naturally wired to look for wellbeing.
None of us want to keep engaging our bad habits, not even the angry teens amongst us.
None of us want to destroy our lives, to hurt others or ourselves.
It seems to me that we just get so lost in thought and what we tell ourselves , that we wind ourselves up to the point of explosion and any form of relief, however destructive, looks like a good idea at the time.
When you start to see that that’s all you’re doing, looking for relief from the habitual slur of your insecure scary thoughts, you have choice and you might choose differently.
You might wait before you sniff that next line of cocaine.
You might be still before you decide to end your marriage.
You might walk away before you explode at another human.
And if you don’t, it’s OK.
It’s OK to simply get relief and to do what comes to you at the time.
Like my pupils who started out with explosions, soon enough you’ll get wise to another way.
As you give less value to what’s passing through your mind, the need for relief will lose its grip.
You’ll find yourself engaging less with bad habits or destructive behaviour.
As you begin to see that your true nature is wired for wellbeing and that your wisdom, unlike your insecure mind, is not judgemental and knows exactly how to bring you back to centre , then acting impulsively or looking for relief in the wrong place, simply won’t make sense anymore.
You see we don’t have to keep falling for the tunes the radio channel in our head pumps out, all of which centre around the same songs of fear, doubt and the small self.
Nor do we have to act on these tunes just because their loud and repetitive, playing over & over again.
As we wake up to the fact that it’s thought and that just beyond thought there’s a wisdom within trying to bring you back home, it’ll make less sense to keep doing whatever you’ve been doing in an attempt to get relief from your thinking at the time.
In the meantime be gentle, have compassion, breathe, wait and leave major life decisions for a quieter mind.