As I reflect on 2017 I see an effortless kind of change that’s occurred.
I call it effortless because these changes and results have not required me to pay mental attention, say the right words, read the right books or even engage expert advice.
All of which was my “modus operandi” in the not too distant past.
Rather these changes and results have happened through gentle insights , six of which I share below in the hope that they’ll awaken something in you, so that your experience of life and business can transform into something richer, easier and more graceful.
Enjoy and Happy Christmas to you….
1) Quiet mind, rich life.
Somewhere at the beginning of last year I noticed that I had more space in my life for things other than business building.
This wasn’t because suddenly my books were full and I’d no need for any income, nor was it because I was consciously choosing not to look at my business, rather what happened was I noticed that as my mind got quieter internally my mental bandwidth to engage other things opened up and life got richer.
I took a course on style and fashion.
I spent more time taking siestas in the afternoon.
I cooked real food and experimented with new recipes.
I walked more in the sunshine.
I fell in love with Netflix.
I just seemed to have more capacity than ever to enjoy the things I used to claim I didn’t have time for and the most interesting thing to me is that my business continued to work and build, without me constantly thinking about it or looking at it.
So what happened?
It’s not like I woke up and decided to do life differently.
As I see it I simply stopped falling for my thinking in the moment.
I woke up to the illusory nature of thought and as a result spent less time engaged in my insecurities and judgements and so my mind quieted down and a space opened up.
Now it seems obvious to me now that when we stop engaging our thought storms and fears, instead seeing them for what they really are, just fleeting energy passing through in the moment, we won’t take them so seriously any more.
A more enjoyable richer experience of life…..
2) Let go the info.
This was the year that I stopped engaging a full time coach and other experts’ advice.
Scary leap since I’ve surrounded myself with experts since I started out as a coach.
But as I entered the year I’d just completed a year long coaching apprenticeship that had literally changed my experience of life and for the first time I felt confident enough to go it alone in my business, just as Grace.
A number of things emerged that I was not expecting without the help of an “expert”.
I birthed my first six month group programme and filled it without any planning, marketing or strategy.
I hosted retreats in Italy with women coming here from as far away as Los Angeles and Hawaii.
I filled an event in London on a few weeks notice.
I had my biggest profit in business and I came up with a new direction and brand for the years ahead. (More soon)
All of this has been a result of “letting go the info” and searching for the experts way or the right way to do things.
In the past I attributed a lot of my success to my coaches, in fact there was a time that I kept buying into coaching for fear of missing out, I see now that this purchasing came from the wrong place and when we purchase out of fear we end up losing out.
That’s the trap of insecurity; until you see it you keep doing the same thing over an over!
I’ve seen that the only way that ever works is your way and that any expert support should support you in hearing your way and acting on it effectively, I’ve even created a whole programme around this because I’ve seen the result available when you operate from there, it’s like a touch of God’s favour that’ll send you miles ahead of anyone else’s strategy.
So this was the year I enjoyed going solo, simply engaging a few coaching retreats or experts here and there but for the most part going it alone.
3) Follow the breadcrumbs.
Something interesting happened around April, our usual six-week programme “Mean your Message” was coming to a close when it occurred to me to extend it.
I was having so much fun working with a delightful group in this way that I offered an extension option and our first six-month programme was born!
Experts had been telling me for years to create group programmes but despite all their best advice, I honestly felt overwhelmed at the idea and didn’t know where to start or how to, then this happened very organically and our first six month group was very naturally born.
It taught me a lot about just going in the direction you’ve got; if you’ll follow the breadcrumbs in one direction you’ll be surprised where that leads.
It also reminded me that the best things in life are born from love rather than born from thinking up a good idea that’ll work out next!
4) Low quality feeling , low quality thoughts.
I took myself on retreat to Devon around May and although I was due to be there only a weekend, I followed my wisdom to extend my stay.
It was during this experience of retreating and spending time alone, walking, resting and reading that I got an unexpected call to love and realized what I wanted next in my life was to be married.
On returning to Italy I declared my desire to Francesco and by July we were engaged!
A quiet mind free from evaluation and judgment means clarity can arise, often we know exactly what we want but it can take carving out a period of stillness to let it emerge.
I saw something else about love and relationships this year.
I felt more connected to my man and noticed that I wasn’t reacting to his reactions about life or me anymore.
In the past I often felt like I needed to control my man’s reactions, not let him get too upset with me or make him feel better if he was angry, not let him fall too low hence I might fall with him or I needed to keep him happy for fear of conflict.
Now I’ve seen that all that effort has fallen away and what’s left is love.
This was helped by having an insight around where feelings come from.
I discovered that any low feeling we might have about life or each other, is simply our reaction to low quality thoughts in that moment, nothing more.
Now it no longer looks like a good idea to me to try and engage a solution or an argument when we’re both caught up in low quality thoughts about one another or life, as a result the feeling passes more quickly , I then know what to say or do and our relationship has gotten easier.
5) Confidence is when self-consciousness isn’t.
This was the year I felt less self-conscious and as a result finally embraced the camera fully.
Not in the usual photo shopped kind of way but rather through very basic and ordinary videos over on YouTube.
Whereas before I would never have felt comfortable speaking live on camera, wrecked with insecure thoughts about myself, how it came across, what would people think and things would have needed to be perfect before starting.
This year I’ve seen a natural confidence emerge now that the self-consciousness has fallen away, as a result my marketing has become more fun and I notice a greater impact in sharing my message with you in this way.
Something about not trusting your thinking about yourself is very important.
It seems to me that in the past I kept falling for my thinking about myself and today I can see that since that thinking is mostly made up of a series of self-evalution that has no meaning, it’s mostly BS, now I don’t trust it as much anymore.
Greater engagement with my audience, easy marketing, a new YouTube channel and a visibility I simply didn’t have before.
6) “You have a wonderful life”
I remember back in last year when my favourite mentor, Elsie Spittle, echoed these words to me as I stood up in an audience lost in thought about my future.
I couldn’t see it at the time, that I had this wonderful life, but Elsie could.
Then somewhere around spring I noticed myself enjoying life more.
Gone was the incessant judgmental thinking when I had a drink or was eating pasta.
Gone was the need to prove myself to others, to demonstrate my success.
Gone were the thought storms that used to plague my mind about the future, my business, money or image.
Instead I was simply enjoying my wonderful life.
Working when I had an idea and feeling engaged in that direction and resting or doing other things if not.
What I’ve seen now is that we all have the capacity to enjoy our wonderful lives and we wake up to wonder the moment we stop falling for our personal thinking on what our life should look like by this stage.