I’ve noticed that in the evenings and sometimes the mornings I drop.
The elevator of consciousness seems to just go down to a lower floor and it is here I meet my loss and grief.
It has been very helpful to see that my thinking isn’t good or helpful when I’m tired.
That when I’m tired things look different, worse.
This is so true because when I’m not tired my connection with Francesco is super strong.
Even funny at times.
I see him making funny faces at my meditation practice.
I hear him saying the funniest things that make me laugh out loud.
There is something important about knowing that hard feelings, including deep waves of grief ,indicate an elevator drop.
Or in other words “you’re tired Grace”
It’s somehow less scary, I know I can handle it and that as the elevator goes back up I’ll feel that deep connection with my love and have my confidence again.