Going through grief without fear is how I’d describe this experience.
It means going through grief without a second layer of suffering.
I am grateful to know what I know.
It feels like a bubble of protection especially when I’m low.
I listened to an interview the other day with Simon Sinek, his sister’s fiance died 20 yrs ago and right before their wedding date.
As I listened I realised what my experience of Francesco’s death could be like if I didn’t understand the principles that guide life, if I didn’t understand our spiritual heritage.
If I was deeply afraid of my experience and had no idea where the source of all experience comes from.
Surely death is the exception to the rule I did ask?
Surely in losing the love of your life there can’t be good days, state of mind can’t play any role?
Death is not the exception.
I have terrible days but in those hours or days I’m not afraid of my experience.
I know that the storm will pass and when it does I’m back to feeling blessed and comforted by the evidence of Francesco’s eternal love and spirit living on.
His constant reminders that he’s right here with me.
Unlike Simon’s sister, I’m not afraid of this experience.
That second layer of suffering isn’t hooking me and getting me into a collapse or a terrible fear of my future.
It’s is grief with a level of grace.
It is loss with a undercurrent of resiliency.
It is tradgedy with a sense of eternal love, the love that never dies.
Who knew this was possible. Death is not the exception.