Still Here

Dear Francesco,

Yesterday we went walking in the groves with Celestino.

I began wondering if I should invite my parents here for Daddy’s birthday in December, you’ll be two years gone, he’ll be 80 years present.

I mean it makes sense, he’d love it, I’d prefer it but then it hit me….

As Cele cut the walk short walk to run back up the hill and eat the nuggets left out for homeless dogs, you know the ones you used to tell him off about?

It hit me….

We’re still here.

Cele is still eating those nuggets.

The car is still a mess.

Tourists are still arriving in Ostuni, awestruck by her white beauty.

The wind is still blowing and changing the colour on the olive trees from green to silver and the season is yet again changing….

All without you.

Life moving on so fast with no respect for loss.

Then today I felt cold for the first time in a while, as I lay down I asked for healing.

I asked your presence, on awakening, I received it.

You’re still singing to me!

I heard the tune more than the words and recognised it as ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.”

Quickly I looked up the lyrics and there it was loud and clear, a message to “have the time of my life.” “Young and sweet, only 17.”

To dance, to jive to live that Friday night feeling.

Just what we need, life has felt a bit serious and heavy lately.

Gladly the craziness of summer is dying down now, finally we can eat in the restaurants again without long waits.

The Nonnas on my street have taken their chairs in and no longer pass time conversing with each other in the heat of the evening.

I find myself more motivated to exercise, Celestino seems happy to be getting into the olive groves more.

Life is moving on.

I still haven’t dealt with your life admin, I don’t know why, maybe I don’t need to, maybe I’m afraid to, I hope you’ll also help me with that too.

Oh and before I go….

Thank you for sending me a brand new iPhone.

When I asked you for help on that I didn’t expect you’d send forth Apple!

You weren’t a fan but you know how I like things to be on brand.

So, Thank You and talk soon.

❤️