Today I feel a dreadfully raw emotion.
It’s been building for days.
Then as I walked my dogs with Francesco’s brother I caught a glimpse of Fran in his brother.
I looked at his legs and his body from a few meters behind him and I swore it was Fran all over again.
This hit me hard.
I just wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him , tell him how much I love him.
That wasn’t possible and likely a bit inappropriate.
It left me sad and empty.
I wasn’t brought up expressing affection yet Fran hugged, kissed and expressed how much he loved me everyday for 14yrs.
When that happens it rubs off, the physical is my most shocking loss.
This craving is raw.
Leaves me restless and in tears.
I know the answer can’t be found in being affectionate with another but human touch and sharing our love is so important.
Fran truly taught me to love and express love and now I will bring that with me everywhere